It's amazing

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how my mother works
me:
mom i got all A's
mom:
me:
mom i cleaned the whole house
mom:
me:
mom i don't do drugs and i'm not pregnant
mom:
mom:
is this your cup on the table?
me:
yes
mom:
you never do anything right i do for you all day long and you do nothing for me but stress me out you are so out of control you are grounded if you think you had no life before you just wait i cant believe you treat your own mother this way get out of my sight

108,423 notes

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Teacher:
Why did you not study?
Me:
A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that is way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days. If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days. We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year. We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days. Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year, hence you are only left with 46 days. Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days, you're left with 3 days in the year to study! Let's say you only go out for 2 days... You're left with 1 day! But that 1 day is your birthday!